I'm Scaling A Doughnut?
by NightArtist
Summary: KD and myself have decided to explore just how far we can possibly take this story andor series, with a decision to switch it to Crossovers and to enter as many random subjects as possible. Suggestions will be taken under consideration, so read on!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men. That is Marvel's job. I will however take Gambit and one million dollars!**

**I'm Scaling……….A Donut?**

Logan, a.k.a, Wolverine, woke up quite suddenly. He just had the most disturbingly psychotic dream ever, and that included all those lovely memories of the damn lab Striker had imprisoned him in. In this said dream, he was scaling a donut with his claws. A donut. A gigantic, monstrous donut. A donut with white frosting and those annoying sprinkles that always pissed him off. A donut.

He shook his head and sighed, then started rubbing his temples with his hands. Also in this dream had been Storm and Rogue, flying around like they didn't have a care in the world while he was climbing the damn pastry. Also, a coffee mug the size of a pool was next to the offending mass of carbohydrates, with a totally nude Gambit swimming around quite happily. He slapped himself as the image floated into his mind, disgusted by the womanizer's blatant disregard for his dreams.

He shoved the comforter back and growlingly stalked out of his room and down to the first floor. Wolverine jumped as Rogue stepped out of the shadows suddenly, looking as grouchy as he did. Relaxing, he sheathed his claws and yawned.

"Yo, kiddo."

"Hey there. What the heck are you doing up?"

"……."

"Logan, what's wrong?"

"….I had a funky dream."

"May I ask what kind?"

"The kind that you wonder if you're not on drugs."

"Ah. Ironically, I did too. Going to the kitchen for a beer?"

"….Yeah…"

"Me too." She yawned as well, and they set off together in a companionable silence, stopping together as they got close to the kitchen and could hear someone talking. That someone turned out to be Gambit, and he was ranting about some random thing to a silent and sleepy Storm. She yawned deeply and about fell asleep when Wolverine stalked through, yanked open the fridge, snagged two beers, threw one to Rogue, and downed his in an instant.

"Whoa…Wolverine, you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm fine, moron. It'll take more than one beer to do me in." Rogue had finished hers and threw it away.

"So, what are you two doing down here at this time of night?" Storm answered her.

"Apparently, Gambit and I had the same dream, and he met me here." Rogue glanced at Wolverine.

"Was Wolverine scaling a donut?" She looked surprised, but saw both men's eyes go round and shocked.

"Yes…he was…and we were flying around…."

"And this conceited little prick was swimming in his birthday suit! Damn…" Wolverine looked at Gambit accusingly. "Is it possible for you to stay out of my dreams, unless I'm planning to beat you into a bloody pulp?" Gambit threw up his hands in disgust and stomped out of the kitchen, muttering obscenities under his breath. Rogue sighed and just made for the stairs, seeking her bed, while Storm kept nodding off. Wolverine picked her up, laid her on a couch, and then went back for another beer.

"The drunker I get, the less I'll have to think about that damn donut…"

**Total randomness, but a college buddy of mine had the very dream of the four of them, and we thought that they should all just have the same dream…basically, they deserved a bit of random weirdness. **

**Laters,**

**KD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the crazy and insane creatures in this story. I just let my muse tell me what to do.**

Of Redheads and Exploding Doughnuts

Jolting awake and shaking his head vigorously, Snape tried to clear his head of the horrid images. He had just had the most nightmarish dream possible. There was a giant coffee cup in which Potter and most of the Weasly clan were splashing about in. Potter and his friend, the youngest Weasly boy, were playing chess on a floating square dock. The rest of the clan, excluding the twins, was doing laps around the edge of the cup. A portrait of Dumbledore was happily floating in the background commenting on the chess game.

Those Weasly twins, those damn red headed pranksters! They were flying above with Lee taunting him as he scaled a giant doughnut. He shuddered as he remembered the giant monstrosity with its sugar coma inducing icing and those garish multi-colored sprinkles. It was worse when he saw that Lee had his wand and was refusing to give it back to him. He was forced to scale the monstrous confection the muggle way in order to get his wand back. It was made even worse when he found out that traps had been set.

He was climbing the mountain of sugar when he touched a white sprinkle and immediately shrank. The thing was larger now than it was a few seconds ago. The twins had laughed at him as he slowly returned to his normal size only to be turned green as he used a green sprinkle as a hand hold. Slowly but surely he was making it closer and closer to the top with a few hexes in mind once his wand was in his possession again. Alas, his efforts were thwarted yet again as he touched a red sprinkle and was immediately thrown into the air. He had woken up as his dream self had landed with a spectacular splash in the coffee cup.

The only good thing to come out of the dream was the shriek of surprise from Potter and his red headed friend when the wave had upturned the chess game scattering them and the pieces in the brown liquid. He vowed to never eat doughnuts or drink coffee as long as he lived.

He slowly got out of bed and headed towards the dining hall only to be horrified as the oaf Hagrid offered him a cup of coffee and a doughnut in replace of eggs and bacon with pumpkin juice.

"Damn those brats and damn these insane muggles for inventing this sorry excuse for a breakfast!" Snape stomped out of the dining hall deciding it was best to go hungry until lunch than relive that horrible dream.

**This chapter has been brought to you by NightArtist. The insane one who had the sugar induced dream four times. I completely blame the sugar and obsession with anything not in reality.**

**N.**


	3. Chapter 3

**KD here! Heh heh heh…I love messing with heads, and so I shall mess with poor Kei's. Some shounen ai…implied yaoi, for those who don't know, but nothing definite…just a play on how goofy Gackt and Hyde can be.**

**Disclaimer: I no own Moonchild…I no own Gackt or Hyde either…they'd sue their way out of my greedy little paws.**

**Vampires, Yakuza, and…Donuts?**

Kei awoke to the steady sound of Sho banging his head against the wall. Yawning and cursing the younger man's evident idiocy, the slender vampire grabbed Sho's braids right as he leaned back, yanking them calmly.

"Sho…"

"What?"

"Why the hell do you have to do things like this?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Kei sighed and smacked his head lightly. "What part of me being a vampire don't you understand, baka? I am the unbelievable." Sho rubbed his head ruefully and stuck his tongue out.

"But it's true! You'd think I was crazy…"

"I already knew that."

"Hey!"

"Just get on with it so I can go back to sleep."

"Fine…" He grumbled and moved to the chair closest to Kei's futon. "I had a dream where you, me, Son, Yi-che, Toshi, and Shinji were…well…um…"

"Sho…" The dangerous tone of Kei's voice didn't escape the young man.

"Everyone else was scaling a donut!"

"Everyone else?" Sho gulped and prayed that Kei wouldn't hit him for the next thing he said…

"We…you and me…were swimming in a coffee cup…" Sho blushed softly at _what_ they'd been doing in said coffee cup…though he secretly did wonder what Kei's lips would taste like…WHOA! He stopped that train of thought right there and fought to control his blush.

"Uh-huh…" The dry note in Kei's voice worried him; the vampire knew that there was more that Sho wasn't telling him. "And, pray tell…what do you think induced this obviously psychotic dream?"

"I…I don't know, Kei…but, um…I'm sorry for waking you up?" Sho looked up hopefully with the apology, hoping that Kei would sigh and shake his head, then kick him back to bed and forget about it. The vampire sighed and did shake his head, but tousled his hair and laid a light kiss on his head with a faint smile.

"It's alright, Sho-kun…There's not much you can do about crazy dreams, eh? Let's blame Toshi's pizza, and go back to bed." Sho nodded with relief, and stood up, stretching as he walked back to his bedroom…but Kei's voice stopped him dead in his tracks as the older vampire hesitantly asked him something he'd been dreading. The vampire swallowed hesitantly, but felt that he ought to bring up the image he'd picked up.

"Sho…in this dream…did you happen…to kiss me senseless while the others climbed, cursing us for not having to do anything?" Kei by this time was beet-red…he didn't expect Sho's shirtless neck and back go the same shade.

"Um…"

"Let's just go to bed, alright?"

"Okay…Good night, Kei."

"Night, Sho…"

**I'm going to Hell…Gackt will ensure it. In fact, he'll buy my ticket for me.**

**Laters,**

**KD**


End file.
